Amazingly, just a few days ago, I read through the very same scripture again, and this time to a deeper understanding of the word.
Today, Pastor Tim shared about the desperation to immerse ourselves in the word of God. To dare to step out and dare to say I'd rather die than to be in captivity in my sins, dare to die to self and flesh but alive in the Lord, partaking in His death and resurrection.
For me to live is Christ and to die is gain, for it's no longer I but Christ that lives in me. For this life that I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the son of God, who loves me and He gave His life for me, that I may be free. The very words that Paul said, when he came to a point that understands, believe and experience, in the knowledge to truly say that, "Lord, to me to live is Christ and to die is gain"
I was reminded and encouraged to immerse myself deeply in the word of God, knowing that in the silence, is when He speaks.
1 Samuel 1
1Now there was a certain man of Ramathaimzophim, of mount Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah, the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephrathite:
2And he had two wives; the name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah: and Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.
3And this man went up out of his city yearly to worship and to sacrifice unto the LORD of hosts in Shiloh. And the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, the priests of the LORD, were there.
4And when the time was that Elkanah offered, he gave to Peninnah his wife, and to all her sons and her daughters, portions:
5But unto Hannah he gave a worthy portion; for he loved Hannah: but the LORD had shut up her womb.
6And her adversary also provoked her sore, for to make her fret, because the LORD had shut up her womb.
7And as he did so year by year, when she went up to the house of the LORD, so she provoked her; therefore she wept, and did not eat.
8Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?
9So Hannah rose up after they had eaten in Shiloh, and after they had drunk. Now Eli the priest sat upon a seat by a post of the temple of the LORD.
10And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore.
11And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head.
12And it came to pass, as she continued praying before the LORD, that Eli marked her mouth.
13Now Hannah, she spake in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard: therefore Eli thought she had been drunken.
14And Eli said unto her, How long wilt thou be drunken? put away thy wine from thee.
15And Hannah answered and said, No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD.
16Count not thine handmaid for a daughter of Belial: for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief have I spoken hitherto.
17Then Eli answered and said, Go in peace: and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition that thou hast asked of him.
18And she said, Let thine handmaid find grace in thy sight. So the woman went her way, and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad.
Elkanah was a man of two wifes, of which one (Peninnah) gave him children, and the other (Hannah) that the Lord had shut up her womb. During those times, a woman would have been put to shame because she bareth not a child. People would say that the woman is cursed by God, and everyone would have said so. Even, reading the scriptures, we are told that the Lord shut up Hannah's womb. Owh, how shameful she must have felt.
Likewise we may or may not, or someone we know of that may have faced, or is facing situations where God allows things to happen. We know that the Lord tempt not, but the Lord allows us to go through it. And these are those, that causes your spirit man to be sorrowful and fret.
Before this, we weren't told much about Hannah and neither do we know what she did. But, I see a woman of unspoken faith one that is willing to lay it all and trust in Him.
Year by year, whenever Elkanah would go up to the temple of God to give the offering, she would be sorrowful about it, knowing that the Lord hath shut up her womb. Even so, Elkanah would give Hannah a worthy portion. He did not despise his wife and thought of it as a shame, but instead he loved Hannah much to give her a worthy portion.
As the rest ate and got drunk, Hannah rose up to the temple of the Lord, having eaten not, nor drinketh any strong drink or getting drunk.
Verse 10 shows that she was in bitterness, and it was then out of desperation, she prayed unto the Lord and wept in sore. She was bitter and had a broken spirit. Her petition unto the Lord, was so that she be given a man child as the Lord remembers her. And, she would offer up this child to the Lord in return, so that the child will be set apart for the Lord and be called of the Lord.
This is when, you see the desperation in her heart, OWH LORD may you remember me, and give me a manchild. If so, this child shall be yours and called for your purpose, if so my very flesh and blood be offered to you, my Lord. The intensity of her prayer as she cried out from her heart, as if the word she could have prayed, out of desperation, out of sorrow, out from a sore and bitter heart, she COULD NOT describe anything using her mouth.
Lord, why have you shut my womb? I wonder what she prayed....
Sometimes, we say things or pray about somethings we don't mean of those words, sincerely. People would love to qoute this, "PRAY for the SAKE of praying"
But the question here is this, how desperate are you until you are willing to pour out all your heart before the Lord. How desperate will you get until you cry out to the Lord and entrust Him in all the things.
ARE YOU CONTENT with the gifts, the portion, or are you desperate enough, to want to have a living relationship with our Father and bare this manchild within you, that is the life of Christ.
How long will you wait until, you need to cry out so badly that the priest thinks that you're drunk? or until you say, "Lord, I offer up the things of which you give" if it even means my own flesh and blood. How desperate will you get until you pour your soul to the Lord
One thing I admire about Hannah, is that, even through the trail, she could say in the confidence of our Lord, I AM NOT AN UNGODLY PERSON and have done no wickedness. I say this because, more often than so, it is through all the tough times that we fall short of His glory, and instead of speaking words of life, we often speak of poison, as though the smell of death lingers about in our mouth. But instead she could find grace in the presence of the Lord.
She poured out from the heart, an unspoken prayer.
Weeping and crying before the Lord, her mouth moved, but she uttered not.
The last part of this scripture, was a drastic change noticed through Hannah. After she poured out her heart to the Lord, He ate and was no more sad.
As much as we serve the Lord in many ways, have we left our first love? The Lord spoke to one of the church in the book of Revelation, saying, you have cast out evil in my name, and know between good and evil, but I am somewhat against thee, for you have left your first love.
when will we wake up to know that we should never be contended about having our lifes just the way it is, with all our worthy portions? Will we ever come to a point of discontentment, knowing there's much more to what has been set? Will we come to pour our hearts to the Lord. And say and unpoken prayer, a prayer from the heart?
"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search me with all your heart" Jeremiah 29:13
And after so, will we have the faith to partake of the food and fret no more, as the Lord says, cast thy worries upon me.
I learned of her unshakened faith in the Lord, as written in the book of Mark, pray and believe that you have recieved it, and it shall be done unto you. Many times, the human nature doubts in the possibility of the Lord answering your prayers, you resolve in plan A, plan B... right after you say that prayer. Where is that unshakened faith? if it means years and years of waiting. The bible did not tell us, how long did Hannah wait for a child, but in that period, she did not fret. She believed!
An unspoken prayer, an unshakable faith.
1 comment:
marvellous pictures!! i love i love. God also really speaks to me from the story of Hannah. Praise the Lord for His living word!
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